i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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