operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
