it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
