We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
