ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
