he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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