The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
