I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
