My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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