i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he was CRYING into my vagina
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
