At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
