Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
