He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
