I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize