I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
