Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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