Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
