I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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