Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
