She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
