Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
