i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
