It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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