YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
