So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
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