come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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