I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Mom said you looked used
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
