and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
