sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize