i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize