Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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