I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize