Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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