Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
