are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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