2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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