She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
