Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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