you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
