I want to make a zoo with you.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
