she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
