Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize