He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
