I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
