We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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