I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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