We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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