i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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