We're facebook friends in real life
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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