but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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