i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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