Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
