You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
