I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You took a bar mat shot.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
