found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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