like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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