My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
