My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Randomize
