shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
