I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
