the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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