when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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