Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
